Anonymous asked: You write so beautifully and articulate. On another note, what vce subjects are you doing or have you done?
Your words are too kind! I did legal and accounting 3/4 last year, and I’m doing methods, mainstream English, business management, food tec and Chinese this year. Not exactly your typical “asian” subjects.
My ironic fear of heights.I’m afraid of heights, but not the elevation of aeroplanes or roller-coasters, but the fear of being lifted off the ground by another person. When you’re on roller-coasters, you’re strapped in-safe and secure. In fact you’re more than safe, you’re on top of the world. For a moment, you’re lifted off the ground above everyone and everything else and it’s surprisingly liberating, because from up in the air you realise how small and insignificant everything bellow you is. For a moment you’re able to let go of all your troubles and release your inner 3 year old, that carefree you who has been dormant for far too long. And it’s all okay because you’re elevated beyond the stress and strife you face at ground level, you’re above it all.
Whilst I adore being anywhere above several meters from the ground, I fear the thought of being lifted up up by another person. I’ve always had this insecurity of putting myself in someone else’s hands. I don’t fear it in a literal sense, it’s more of a psychological barrier, where I feel I’m setting myself up for disaster. Maybe it’s a trust issue. To have me in your arms makes me feel vulnerable, weak and helpless…and that’s not me. I’d like to think I am as someone who is quite strong and buoyant, well at least to the extent that my demeanor is not mistaken for that of a vile and bitter snob. But how can one be strong without being vulnerable? Because to truly be strong we’ve got to be willing to expose ourselves and put ourselves through risks don’t we?
We all have that one person who makes everything okay…don’t we?
Anonymous asked: Sometimes I talked to you because you seem so similar to me and I hate how certain factors kind of limit my ability to be friends wait you because I think you're quite amazing.
I’m curious as to who you are anon! Why would you say certain factors limit your ability to be friends with me? I’m open to anyone and everyone, and I honestly think you’re over thinking it silly. If you never try, you’ll never know (:
Anonymous asked: whats it like to know that you're like the most popular person at nossal? I just really wanna know what your life is like i'm so intrigued but you and your perfection :)
This sounds very sarcastic :/
"I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me. My love’s not impersonal yet not wholly subjective either. I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, my emotions, as that person. But I am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I’ll ever have. And you cannot regard your own life with objective curiosity all the time…"
Sylvia Plath (via 13neighbors)
Too often, we make people the sum-total of one characteristic or value that they may embody. We’ve all done it at some point in time. It really is such an unfortunate trait that we as humans have, to jump to conclusions based on our preconceived ideas and assumptions; subconsciously categorizing those around us into our exclusive stereotypes.
I think a lot of the time we forget that we are all human. We are complicated creatures, ones that have undergone different experiences throughout our lives that make us the people we are today. These triumphs and setbacks add to who we are, we shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed of them. We should embrace them, wear them proudly for all to see. After all, we are the ones who write our story. And whilst we can’t change our past, we have the power to sculpt the rest of our lives…because we are dynamic beings, who are subject to change much like the world around us.
Anonymous asked: Oh how I crave your body ;) :P
I want to get drunk with you. I want to feel the sweet warmth of liquid courage running through my veins whilst you’re within arms reach. Maybe then I will be able to compose my thoughts and conjure the audacity to spill what is truly on my mind. It will be okay to act the fool, to say all the right things at the wrong time. I won’t care if I offend you, because that’ll be the least of my worries. And you needn’t respond. In fact I rather you don’t, because I don’t want the first words that rolls off your tongue, the instinctive answer that you will regret when morning comes. I want you to ponder my inebriated nonsense, collect your thoughts before you let the loose and speak your mind. And perhaps that way with all that on the table we can set things straight. Maybe we will, or perhaps we won’t. But at least I know that I have tried.
Anonymous asked: You are so eloquent, everything you have written is so beautifully composed! What, if you know certainly, are you planning on studying at university? Or what profession are you aiming for? Sorry for being nosy but you are so intelligent and beautiful there really are endless possibilities for you future!
Awww thank you! That really means a lot to me :’) don’t be silly, you’re not being nosy at all! I’m aiming to get into a double degree of commerce/law at monash, but if that doesn’t go accordingly I’m happy with straight commerce…and from there hopefully I can transfer into comm/law. As for my future profession I’m not too sure, though I’d be looking at an office job at a nice firm? Boring I know, but the idea of dressing up in corporate attire turns me on!
Maybe we can be friends again.
Can you ever call that person who shattered your heart into a million pieces a friend again? I won’t say it’s easy, in fact it’s the borderline of being beyond the boundaries of possibilities. But with time, feelings change and objectives redefine themselves. That burning need to talk to them, to see them, it eventually wilts away so that it is simply a desire of the past. It won’t immediately go straight back to how is used to be, the transition back to friendship is a rough one.
For me at first there were tears, litres and litres of them. But I soon learnt that they were okay, because those droplets of salt water were a sign that what I felt for you was real.
After a few
days weeks of sobbing I thought my broken heart was cured. However I shortly realised that I was far from fixed. I discovered you were talking to someone new, someone of the opposite sex and inside me a volcano of jealousy erupted; a slow and steady burn rose from the pits of my stomach, though this time it wasn’t the nauseating felling of sorrow, but rather the ferocious flare of hatred. And that is what I did, hate you. I will admit I may have had yet another breakdown. I called “x” and cried for hours on end, spewing out all the bitterness that had built up because of the heartache you put me through; and as I did, I felt the resentment singe from each word that left my lips. And with every outburst of hatred, a smidget of love inched its way out of my heart. Gradually all the things I once loved about you faded and in its place remained a mountain of ordinary traits.
I soon learnt that although I loved you less, having your name constantly linger in my contacts tempted me into messaging you, which never ended well. So I decided that to truly move on I had to erase you from my life, act like you never existed. And as much as it pained me to delete our lovey dovey messages and have your name missing from my favourites list, I knew it had to be done. After all how was I to move on if you were constantly lurking around in the back ground.
And now that I’ve taken some time away from you, it’s made me realise that I don’t need you in that way anymore. After time apart, it’s made me realise that I’m able to stand alone and still be okay. I will admit, there is and always will be a part of my heart that longs for you, but that’s okay. I guess it goes to show that I really did love you, and it made quite the impact on me. And on the other side of all the anguish and agony, there is light and I’ve come to realise that from this experience I have learnt so much. You have taught me so much. And now that I’ve fallen out of love with you, I am able to talk to you again, send you silly messages that I know you will understand. I no longer feel jealousy nor hatred when I see you, instead I see an old friend who I’ve shared a great chapter of my life with.
"We work hard to disown the parts of our lives that were painful, difficult, or sad. But just as we can’t rip chapters out of a book and expect the story to still make sense, so we cannot rip chapters out of our past and expect our lives to still make sense. Keep every chapter of your life intact, and keep on turning the pages. Sooner or later you’ll understand why every scene, every chapter was needed."
In eight years time
Perhaps I’ll end up in an apartment tucked away in the lane ways of London on a Monday morning. It won’t be anything special, just something small with tiny balcony overseeing the street of Notting Hill. I’ll be awoken by the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the husky sound of his voice as he whispers ‘good morning’. The life of the city will seep through the windowsills, dragging me back from the delusions of the dream world. I’ll groan at thought of Monday, but as I do he’ll slide over a little closer, his fingers tracing my back telling stories in his stokes like the best storytellers do. And I’ll wonder if I’m still dreaming, because it’ll feel overwhelmingly surreal. Maybe it will be, maybe it won’t. Maybe it’ll be my life in eight years time.